Although I didn't read over my other 5 part paragraph blog before I made my new one tonight, I realize that I did try to make sure that the skills I was weaker in before were better this time. I think I did a much better job this time on making my commentary not so plot summaryish. My other paragraph could be border line at some points. Also, my commentary specifically supports the thesis. Everything I wrote relates back to the main point I was trying to prove in the topic sentence. On my other paragraph, I had a solid thesis, but not all my concrete details directly supported it. What really helped me see how I needed to improve on this was critiquing so many of the 5 part paragraphs in class. All that class time wasn't wasted; it really did help improve my writing.
Alena
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